Why Marry Rich?
by Lena Gromicko
Since God created the universe, it’s been in a state of abundance. The sun wants to provide light and warmth. A tree wants to provide fruit. And a man wants to provide for his family. It’s perfectly natural to desire an ambitious, kind, successful man.
Women are biologically wired to seek partners who can provide resources and protection, especially for potential offspring. Historically, resource acquisition (food, shelter, protection) was crucial for woman’s survival and her children’s chances of thriving. Therefore, women who chose mates capable of providing had a reproductive advantage. Women prefer men with financial stability, especially when seeking long-term partners. There is no shame in this. Again, it’s perfectly natural.
Here are some of the main motivations for wanting to marry rich:
Security and Stability
Good women shouldn’t have to constantly worry about bills, job loss, housing, or emergencies. It’s a rough world out there. Most people spend their entire lives thinking about money. The financial security a wealthy man provides ends this otherwise-endless worry and allows your mind to be freed up to focus on passions, family, or personal development. Financial security is especially important to women who grew up poor. It’s bad enough to be poor, there is no reason to be poor your entire life.
Better Lifestyle
A rich marriage isn’t just about nicer things — it’s about a better rhythm of life.
Good women deserve to travel if they want to, to enjoy fine dining, to have elite experiences, and to afford the occasional luxury without guilt. There is no shame in desiring beauty, ease, or access to the best the world has to offer — especially when you’ve lived through years of scraping by.
I remember checking my bank account before every grocery run, calculating if I could afford both the fruit and the laundry detergent. I remember skipping dental visits, pretending I wasn’t in pain. I wasn’t lazy — I was simply tired from carrying everything alone.
Now I wake up in clean sheets. I drink my coffee slowly. I take care of my body. I create, I mother, I build — because I have the space and the support to do so. Wealth also buys time. And time is the most luxurious currency of all. Being able to outsource chores — the cleaning, the cooking, the constant errands — frees up your energy for what matters: your health, your family, your ideas. That extra margin of freedom often becomes the fertile ground for launching a business, writing a book, or simply being present in your own life.
When my husband and I had just met, he had a cleaning lady who came once a week. As an “independent woman,” I was quick to object. I told him we didn’t need another woman in the house — I’d clean everything myself. He looked at me and asked, “Are you sure you want to clean toilets?” I was absolutely sure. Until I did it. Again and again. And then one day I looked around and thought: Why am I doing this? That cleaning lady wasn’t just helpful — she was excellent at what she did. The issue wasn’t the job. The issue was my mindset. I thought doing everything myself made me strong. But true strength is knowing when to delegate so you can rise. It’s the freedom to rest when you’re tired. To take your child to the doctor without calculating how much it will cost. To say yes to opportunities without fear.
A better lifestyle means less burnout, fewer arguments, more presence. You are not surviving — you are living. And that creates a more peaceful home, a stronger partnership, and a safer space for children to grow up in.
It all starts in your head. You must first give yourself permission to want better — and everything else begins to expand from there.
Opportunities for Your Children
Every mother wants the best for her children. That instinct is wired into us — to protect, to nourish, to elevate. Wealth doesn’t replace motherhood, but it gives you options. It buys space, calm, access, and time — things that are often in short supply for mothers doing everything alone. When you marry a man who can provide, you’re not choosing laziness. You’re choosing to remove unnecessary hardship so that your children can thrive. Wealth provides
- Better nutrition, organic foods, quality healthcare, wellness centers, fitness trainers, and medical specialists.
- Time off — the ability to pause your career to be present in your child’s early years.
- The ability to afford more children, if desired.
- Top-tier education, private schools, tutoring, private lessons, and tuition for college as well as learning financial literacy and investing skills early.
- Reliable, safe transportation.
- Access to exclusive social circles from a young age.
- Safer neighborhoods and cleaner environments.
- Trust funds and inheritances as well as seed capital for start businesses. Jeff Bezos's stepfather invested $300,000 in Amazon to get it off the ground.
When you don’t have to constantly calculate whether your child’s needs fit in your budget, you parent differently. You’re calmer. More intentional. More available. Our kids are turning 7, 5, and 3 years old this year. The oldest ones are starting to ask questions like: “Are we rich?” and “Is our house the biggest in the whole country?” It’s normal curiosity. Kids notice. They understand. They absorb everything they’re surrounded by.
And no — that doesn’t mean you need to brag about money as a parent. We answer humbly: “We’re well off. And there’s nothing wrong with that.” They see their dad working hard. They hear us talk about goals. And we always explain: “Dreams don’t just come true — you have to do something to make them happen.”
My kids eat better than I ever did. They wear comfortable clothes. They go to bed in peace. And I do too — not because I’m perfect, but because I’m not drowning. Let’s be clear: wealth won’t make you a good mother. But it gives a good mother more room to mother well.
The goal is not to raise spoiled children — it’s to raise secure, healthy, emotionally intelligent children who know how to give and receive love without being shaped by lack, children who grow up with tools, not just trauma and with foundations, not just survival instincts.
Remember: almost all rich and successful people became so because of a certain trauma of previously being poor. There was hunger in their story — a fire that pushed them. That hunger shouldn’t be erased when raising children. Don’t give them everything. Don’t rob them of discipline. Raise them with love, yes — but also with boundaries, with earned privileges, with purpose. Let them feel the reward of effort and the dignity of responsibility. And leave them a modest inheritance.
“I have seen a grievous evil under the sun: wealth hoarded to the harm of its owners, or wealth lost through some misfortune, so that when they have children there is nothing left for them to inherit.” – Ecclesiastes 5:13-14
This is your reminder: build something worth passing on. Not just for your sake — but for theirs.
Philanthropy
A rich life is not complete until it overflows. You can’t help anyone if you don’t have excess disposable income. When your survival is secured — when your children are well-fed, well-loved, and well-taught — the heart opens naturally to a deeper purpose: impact. You begin to think beyond the walls of your home. You begin to look at the world not with resentment, but with possibility. And you start asking: How can I help?
Women who marry rich have resources to help others, support causes, and build legacy. The wealthy contribute the majority of charitable donations. The top earners account for almost all individual giving — and that’s not just a statistic. That’s reality.
Here is a chart showing charitable giving by income group:
I come from a troubled country — Ukraine — a place that became known to the world for a terrible reason: war. I sent money to families in need. But the truth is: I couldn’t have helped at the level I did without my husband’s bank account (which, by the way, he shared with me from the day we met). Does it sound cliché? Maybe. That’s simply what it is. Yes, it’s about money, but more than that, it’s about trust.
My husband gives too — deeply, regularly. Every year, he sponsors winter coats for children: www.cozycoatsforkids.org . He doesn’t do it for applause. He does it because it feels good to give. And let’s be honest — you can’t buy thousands of coats without funds.
Philanthropy is not just about writing checks. It’s about showing up — using your voice, your time, your resources, your energy to make someone else’s life better. That kind of giving doesn’t happen when you’re exhausted and broke. It happens when you’re in overflow.
There’s a belief that rich people are selfish. But often, it’s those with the most who give the most — quietly, strategically, generously.
I’ve been the girl who had nothing to give but a used jacket and a five-dollar bill. And I’ve also been the woman who can fund a cause, sponsor a family, or help someone start over. There’s nothing wrong with both versions of myself. But let me tell you — giving from fullness feels very different than giving from lack. Philanthropy becomes possible when your life is no longer stuck in the loop of survival. And the irony is: when you give well, you become even richer — in meaning, in gratitude, in purpose. Marrying rich gave me the freedom to give without draining myself. That’s not just a financial shift. It’s a spiritual one.
“To whom much is given, much will be required.” — Luke 12:48
This isn’t about guilt. It’s about capacity. If you’ve been given much — stability, peace, access — let it pass through you. That’s the highest form of wealth.
Parental and Cultural Influences
Some cultures encourage women to “marry rich.” In others, the message is subtler — a knowing glance, a sigh, or a casual comment about someone else’s engagement ring. But across many parts of the world, including the media, marrying rich is often portrayed as a smart, pragmatic life goal for women who are both ambitious and strategic.
Growing up, my parents never directly told me to marry rich. But they wanted me to be safe. Comfortable. Valued. I remember a funny episode from my early university days in Kyiv, the capital of Ukraine. I had just started dating “the love of my life” — a guy from my neighborhood who lived four hours away — and I was full of dreamy feelings. My mom sighed and said gently: “He never visits you in Kyiv… and if he does once a year, he doesn’t even bring a present with him!” At the time, I laughed it off. But looking back, that small comment revealed a deeper truth: attention without effort is not love. Presence without investment isn’t enough. Years later, after I married my husband, my mom cautiously asked: “Lena… does he have a million dollars?” I said yes — while laughing quietly to myself. The question felt absurd to me at the time. But apparently, it meant something to her. Another time, Nick showed her his collection of tractors. Without missing a beat, she asked: “You use only one? And the others are just standing in the garage? Where’s your return on investment?” And when Nick finished building our family home — a house he designed with care and intention — she stepped inside, looked around the spacious living room, and didn’t comment on the architecture, the layout, or the effort behind it. She simply said: “My daughter is smart.” That was her way of saying everything.
For many parents, it’s not about chasing luxury or showing off. It’s about peace of mind. It’s about knowing their children are safe, supported, and set up for something better.
Culturally, women are often told to be independent — and yes, independence matters. But true security is rarely built alone.
For generations, families have tried to position their daughters in marriages that elevate, protect, and empower them. In today’s world, financial stability is part of love. It’s not the only thing — but it is a thing.
To some, this might sound cold. But often, it’s just practical — especially for parents who have experienced real hardship and want something better for their children.
So, marrying rich doesn’t make you shallow. And no, your parents hoping for that doesn’t make them manipulative. It might just mean they’ve lived enough to know that love doesn’t pay the bills — but the right partnership can build a life that does.